She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
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First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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