He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
