Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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