Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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