At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize