People with herpes should wear stickers.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
