so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
nutella sex= disaster
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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