sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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