So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
