..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't put those talents on a resume
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
