he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
