I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He has the fingertips of a God
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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