think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize