Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
