Define "chronic" masturbator.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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