you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
