I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
