Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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