Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
