why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
