How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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