the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize