Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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