Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
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She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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