when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
