Don't you send me to vm
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize