Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you didnt know i had herpes?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
