the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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