Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
