Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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