Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
