We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
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