its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
