"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
