im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
