problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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