ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
