i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Randomize
