whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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