Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize