Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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