Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
