dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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