I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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