Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
only you would photoshop your dick
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
