Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Randomize
