We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
