I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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