It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
