non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
