The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
