i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
