we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
