My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
