I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
