sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
