How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
